Nearly everywhere I go, I experience the same feeling. Whether it is a new country, city or some place rural. I always find myself thinking: I could live here. Admittedly, the prerequisite is that I need to find the surroundings beautiful; But I find a lot of places beautiful, so there you go.

When I go to a different country, I am often in awe of the environment. I want to learn the language, get settled and become a local. Is that just initial excitement? Perhaps - but even after having stayed for a while, the feeling does not fully wear off.

I wonder where it stems from; and whether I should perceive it as a blessing or a curse. It means I feel at home in a lot of places. It also means it is difficult for me to stay in one place; I often grow restless.

A luxury problem one may say. And I completely agree: it is of course a privilege to be able to have these thoughts.

But where is home? I often ask myself. Because even within my "home" country, I frequently consider relocating.

When I get to the root of these thoughts, I think it stems from the inexhaustible range of possibilities we are presented with. Which is again, also a privilege. But in my own experience, I have found that all these possibilities paralyze me. I simply do not know what to choose, which repeatedly results in me not deciding at all. Or to quote Sylvia Plath, I find myself stuck in the fig tree, unable to pick one.

This is a treacherous course, I have come to find out. Not deciding is a decision too. I am slowly making peace with the fact that I cannot experience it all or live everywhere. Our time is limited, and I guess that is what makes it precious. Decide your own, unique path, and walk it wholeheartedly. Don’t let yourself be fooled by all the possibilities; or the variety of figs.

I guess what I am trying to tell you, and myself, comes down to this: the grass is not always greener on the other side. You water your own, when you decide.

02.03.2026

The Paradox of Possibility

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